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Foreversh
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Name: Jae
Birthday: 11/14/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: skiing, music (indie.emo.idm), forensics, languages, movies, manga, Kendo, WRC...
Expertise: Accounting, being clumsy, screwing up any type of relationship....
Occupation: Student
Industry: Accounting
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/26/2003
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| ::Lost by an Echo::
Each day that passes and I am alone. A piece of me disappears into the darkness never to return. I lose a part of myself in this forsaken city. There is nothing for me here and there never will be. Everyday I become more apathetic to everything and everyone around me, but no one cares. No one knows me. They bump into me as if I was invisible, and you know what? I am.
You never know how alone you are until there is no one to save you from yourself.
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| I do not know why or how.....
The longer I stay in Halifax alone, the more time I have
to think... I realized that I have started to lose, and maybe
even already have lost my faith in God. I do not know what to think
anymore. I just do not believe in anything at the moment.
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| It has been two days since she has been gone. Just thinking about it makes my eyes tear up. At night when I am in bed and about to go to sleep, I think of her, and a feeling of immense loneliness washes over me. I try not to think of her because all it does is make me cry. The thought of knowing I would never see her or hold her again.
I am glad we got her though. She taught Aaron. When we first bought her, he thought that having a pet bird would not be as amazing as having a dog or cat. However, Couscous quickly changed his mind and heart. She taught him that birds can be very intelligent and a very good friend. In fact, Aaron said that he has never been so close to a pet before. I am glad that Aaron got a chance to meet Couscous.
Couscous had a very good life. Although short, she was spoiled rotten by the both of us. I really do not know what happened that made her die so suddenly in her sleep. She seemed fine that night. Gave her normal night squeak, cuddled in and fell asleep. Before, Aaron had fed her and made sure she was warm. She was climbing on her cage and very active. At least she was able to die with Aaron and not alone.
I just wish she could have lived longer. Wish I could have helped her. I miss her so much. To know I will not see her again.. It snowed the night she died... and yesterday it snowed slightly. It was as if she was saying goodbye.
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| Sometimes I feel as if I am floating in the world and that everything
is just a dream. That I no longer exist nor anyone else in the
world. I feel that everyone has moved on away from me and has
forgotten me. Even missing people back home in BC. I don't
really miss anyone anymore. It has gotten to a point where I do
not seem to care anymore. I might think of someone back in BC and
suddenly feel a pang of loneliness because I miss them, but the feeling
passes. It is almost as if I have gotten used to being lonely and
without friends and that everything is fine, that I no longer need
anyone nor care.
There is nothing anymore.
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